What is this that I carry in me? I grapple daily with it, yet when I look on it, it seems strange. My fingers know its cold, sharp grooves and shrink back in repulsion. There is not a darker object in the world of worlds, than this guilt-stained, filthy burden I carry inside. It argues otherwise.
Ceaselessly I hear its hypnotizing whisperings, "I am beautiful," it says, "clean, tender- see how good I am?" So soft at first, these whisperings lulling me to an unconscious sleep from which it would have me not wake.
Φως- Light!
Suddenly all is white with some majestic brightness! The fog lifts...consciousness returns. Yet I can no longer keep my eyes closed nor look at the source of this Light for the filth I know it uncovers. My eyes glance toward my burden of despair, and I groan with shame. But what shocking pain! Pain- a miracle for this unfeeling heart of stone!
And there I see it- a crack breaking the darkness of that deplorable thing. Oh what sorrow and guilt mixed with such joy. I cannot pity myself or this burden I bear; no, that I chose to carry.
Oh Light! Pierce this heart. Break it. Shatter it. Cast it away even as far as the east is from the west. There is no hope for such a pit of wickedness. Wash me with Light, Purity, and Holiness. Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me!
for all his works are right and his ways are just; and those who walk in pride he is able to humble.
-daniel 4:37
this is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light and in him is no darkness at all.
-1john1:5
i have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek your servant...
-psalm 119:176
i have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness. -john 12:46
the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
-john 1:5
he who made the Pleiades and Orion, and turns deep darkness into the morning...the Lord is his name.
-amos 5:8
m.j.l.
